I received two new books in the mail today, which my husband ordered for me a week ago from Amazon. I was starting to worry that they would not get here before we leave for vacation on Thursday, but they did, so now I've got something to read.
The first is Survival Strategies for People on the Autism Spectrum by Marc Fleicher. It's a "self-help guide for autistic teenagers and adults" that will "help readers improve their quality of life and overcome everyday challenges". The table of context has chapters like The Worry of the 'What If?' Scenario, Rules of Socialising and Dealing with Uncertainty.
The second is Ask and Tell: Self-Advocacy and Disclosure for People on the Autism Spectrum with foreword by Temple Grandin and edited by Stephen M. Shore. It contains articles by people like Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane (Communicating Through Advocacy and Self-Disclosure: Four Ways to Connect) and Liane Holliday Willey (Disclosure and Self-Advocacy: An Open Door Policy).
I hope these books can come in handy; I've been in contact with two men online. One is 28 and has been mis-diagnosed in the past, but got the diagnosis of Asperger's five years ago. The other is 46 and just this spring received his diagnosis. They're both dealing with how to tell others (family and friends, and potential employers and others who will need to know) about their autism. A thread was dedicated to how to be open about the diagnosis on an online message board and we've talked a bit about it there, sharing experiences and worries. I recommeded Coming out Asperger, and they've both bought that one in Norwegian. One of the men also bought a book on Asperger's and employment, but I'm unsure which as he didn't mention the author's name.
Have you read any good books and autism lately? Care to share a few titles?
Showing posts with label disclosure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disclosure. Show all posts
Monday, July 14, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Video and update
This old post barely touching the subject, and I still think she's better at explaining. I suggest you watch the video.
In other news;
I seem to be one of the statistics. One of those 13.5%.
I saw a doctor today, to receive a diagnosis of social anxiety. After turning of the TV, closing the door to the garden and then hiding behind the bed when the bell rang yesterday, I realized I cannot go on like this. Of course, there are other things as well - waiting to check the mail till the neighsbors are nowhere in sight, not being able to be outside as long as the neighbors can see me, trouble going to the store on my own, et cetera, et cetera. The list goes on.
The doctor was very kind, and agreed with my own conclusion. I had blood drawn just to make sure there's nothing else going on that could give the same symptoms (which I pretty much doubt).
I did not inform her of having Asperger's. I'm going back in August, unless there's something wrong with my blood tests, to talk about what to do now - therapy, group therapy and/or medication. I'm opting for the latter + sessions with the uni psychologist and/or group therapy. That'll be the time to bring up the AS, I think, as that'd the underlying cause as far as I can tell.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Autistic Pride Day
Today is Autistic Pride Day.
Today I changed my profile here on Blogspot to include my real name. I also changed my user names on two online message boards to my real name.
Although I've done so, I have not included my surname. Proud or not, I have no real desire to shout it from the roof tops.
Today I changed my profile here on Blogspot to include my real name. I also changed my user names on two online message boards to my real name.
Although I've done so, I have not included my surname. Proud or not, I have no real desire to shout it from the roof tops.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A whole new way
Lately I've been so social I find myself more and more exhausted. It's resulting in problems with the phone. I struggle to answer the phone on the best of days; I can talk on the phone with my husband (who's currently in another country) and some acquaintances (however, I don't like it).
It's turning into a problem because I have had several calls towards the end of the week from people at the student paper I work at. I know they're calling to ask me to step in last minute for some photography, but I've been unable to face not only the call, but them as well; if I had picked up I'd have to make up an excuse for not taking the job.
The question now is how to fix it? I have let it be known that I'm not too keen on phones right from the start, but I don't expect people to remember that. If I'm contacted over e-mail or text message, it's no problem, but... I'm not. I'm debating whether or not to tell about my social anxiety and/or Asperger's. I could say that I don't do phones but people always want a reason why.
It's turning into a problem because I have had several calls towards the end of the week from people at the student paper I work at. I know they're calling to ask me to step in last minute for some photography, but I've been unable to face not only the call, but them as well; if I had picked up I'd have to make up an excuse for not taking the job.
The question now is how to fix it? I have let it be known that I'm not too keen on phones right from the start, but I don't expect people to remember that. If I'm contacted over e-mail or text message, it's no problem, but... I'm not. I'm debating whether or not to tell about my social anxiety and/or Asperger's. I could say that I don't do phones but people always want a reason why.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Parallels
I just got out of a lecture on feminist theory 15 minutes ago and am currently sitting in a study hall at the university I attend. The class is every Thursday, and it's the one class I'm really looking forward to each week. Feminist theory and gender research is not a major obsession, but a long-lasting one and I'm happy the university is finally offering at least something like "this", small as it is.
We've been dealing with feminists like de Beauvoir, Firestone, Irigaray, Butler and Wittig (and probably a few more as well so far), having a look at their ideologies, theories and opinions. Of course, they all assume the position that females are oppressed by males, but there is more than that. How is gender made? What mattes when it comes to your individual representation of yourself as a male or a female? We're also writing a paper on this, which has to be handed in tonight (don't remind me).
Today we had a good hard look at our own prejudice. We were faced with several photos and had to classify whether or not the subject was female or male. Why did we think either way? We had to make lists as to why we had these assumptions about the people; characteristics as we saw them as well as the feelings the picture evokes. At the end, the lecture was about Wittig and Butler and how their theories deal with how we made ourselves known as genders. This struck a somewhat familiar chord.
Butler says that gender is biologically conditioned, but you adapt to the cultural (sociological) classification for the sex you are born with (biological sex). To these sociological gender, there are certain "expectations" you have to live up to. let's say you're a woman. You are expected to dress as "we" think women should dress and hold "feminine" qualities as be a good cook (even though the best chefs in the world are men), want and desire children and to become a mother. Of course, Butler goes even further and says that lesbian women are unable to live up to the expectations met in society and that one should, in some way, resolve sex as it's actually culturally defines after all - how we perceive sex depends on our culture. Maybe that isn't as relevant here... Or is it?
Can't a parallel be drawn to aspies in the NT world here? You see - as aspie as though we may be, we are still "expected" to act NT, to be NT. We as humans are seen as the same as NTs. We are to be the same. But, some of us (be it aspie, HFA or "low-functioning") can't live up to how NT-society works. There you go. That's the parallel. That puny paragraph. That's all I have to say after you've read all this.
I'm soooo tempted to write such a comparison in my paper, and thus out myself as an autistic.
We've been dealing with feminists like de Beauvoir, Firestone, Irigaray, Butler and Wittig (and probably a few more as well so far), having a look at their ideologies, theories and opinions. Of course, they all assume the position that females are oppressed by males, but there is more than that. How is gender made? What mattes when it comes to your individual representation of yourself as a male or a female? We're also writing a paper on this, which has to be handed in tonight (don't remind me).
Today we had a good hard look at our own prejudice. We were faced with several photos and had to classify whether or not the subject was female or male. Why did we think either way? We had to make lists as to why we had these assumptions about the people; characteristics as we saw them as well as the feelings the picture evokes. At the end, the lecture was about Wittig and Butler and how their theories deal with how we made ourselves known as genders. This struck a somewhat familiar chord.
Butler says that gender is biologically conditioned, but you adapt to the cultural (sociological) classification for the sex you are born with (biological sex). To these sociological gender, there are certain "expectations" you have to live up to. let's say you're a woman. You are expected to dress as "we" think women should dress and hold "feminine" qualities as be a good cook (even though the best chefs in the world are men), want and desire children and to become a mother. Of course, Butler goes even further and says that lesbian women are unable to live up to the expectations met in society and that one should, in some way, resolve sex as it's actually culturally defines after all - how we perceive sex depends on our culture. Maybe that isn't as relevant here... Or is it?
Can't a parallel be drawn to aspies in the NT world here? You see - as aspie as though we may be, we are still "expected" to act NT, to be NT. We as humans are seen as the same as NTs. We are to be the same. But, some of us (be it aspie, HFA or "low-functioning") can't live up to how NT-society works. There you go. That's the parallel. That puny paragraph. That's all I have to say after you've read all this.
I'm soooo tempted to write such a comparison in my paper, and thus out myself as an autistic.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Coming out Asperger
I think the question of when, if at all, to come out is something everyone 'outside the norm' thinks about from time to time, whether they have done it or not. After discovering I'm autistic last year, the thought of telling others have popped into my head from time to time, but I've previously dismissed it because I haven't had the validation of a professional. Even though I've opted against doing it before, I've prepared myself for the time when it might just happen to be a situation where it will be appropriate and maybe even natural to speak up about the condition.
As every adult with ASCs know, there is a serious lack of books about and research on ASCs in, well, adults. Most of you have most likely already read through the books there is out there, but if you haven't picked it up yet, and wonder how to best disclose, I can recommend Coming Out Asperger. It's a book for the adult reader which deals mostly with how to come out, to friends, partners, co-workers, etc. I'm not trying to say that you should follow the book to a T, but maybe it can provide some support and insight?
My biggest problem to date with disclosing is that I have problems voicing my problems. This has been true for the better part of my life. I've never had a close relationship with my parents. Close is perhaps not the best word - 'personal' is more fitting. It's hard to suddenly have such a relationship with your parents when you're 22. It would be odd to suddenly try to change this relationship, not only because we've never been close in the 22 years I've been on this earth but also because; why should I now disclose this. What is it with Asperger's that warrants a disclosure when more or less nothing else in my life does?
The other relationships where it would be "sensible" for me to disclose is to friends. Speaking freely here, I don't have friends. I've never had. I have acquaintances, but not friends. There are people I talk to when I'm at the university where I study, but I seldom, very seldom, engage socially with them out of the university setting. It's not because I haven't wanted to, but because I seem unable to connect with them on the same level as they connect with each other. The question then is why should I disclose? Maybe because I want a better relationship. I want friends. And friends share, don't they?
So, how should one disclose to potential friends? I already have. Unwillingly, but none the less, I have. One of the girls added me to her FaceBook some months ago when we first started talking, but I guess it was just a month ago she actually looked at my profile and noticed the groups I've joined. If others have done the same, no one's ever said anything. Yet, I've never disclosed using my voice. I prefer to express myself in writing.
The question of why I'm a member of groups for autistics where written on a note in lecture, shuffed through the rows of students and given to me, somewhat discreet.
The disclosure finally came, in writing, the next day. I wrote a message over FaceBook, and she replied within the hour. It felt nice. Liberating. And once again I'm finding myself in a situation where maybe it would be appropriate to tell. I'm just trying to muster the nerve to do so.
As every adult with ASCs know, there is a serious lack of books about and research on ASCs in, well, adults. Most of you have most likely already read through the books there is out there, but if you haven't picked it up yet, and wonder how to best disclose, I can recommend Coming Out Asperger. It's a book for the adult reader which deals mostly with how to come out, to friends, partners, co-workers, etc. I'm not trying to say that you should follow the book to a T, but maybe it can provide some support and insight?
My biggest problem to date with disclosing is that I have problems voicing my problems. This has been true for the better part of my life. I've never had a close relationship with my parents. Close is perhaps not the best word - 'personal' is more fitting. It's hard to suddenly have such a relationship with your parents when you're 22. It would be odd to suddenly try to change this relationship, not only because we've never been close in the 22 years I've been on this earth but also because; why should I now disclose this. What is it with Asperger's that warrants a disclosure when more or less nothing else in my life does?
The other relationships where it would be "sensible" for me to disclose is to friends. Speaking freely here, I don't have friends. I've never had. I have acquaintances, but not friends. There are people I talk to when I'm at the university where I study, but I seldom, very seldom, engage socially with them out of the university setting. It's not because I haven't wanted to, but because I seem unable to connect with them on the same level as they connect with each other. The question then is why should I disclose? Maybe because I want a better relationship. I want friends. And friends share, don't they?
So, how should one disclose to potential friends? I already have. Unwillingly, but none the less, I have. One of the girls added me to her FaceBook some months ago when we first started talking, but I guess it was just a month ago she actually looked at my profile and noticed the groups I've joined. If others have done the same, no one's ever said anything. Yet, I've never disclosed using my voice. I prefer to express myself in writing.
The question of why I'm a member of groups for autistics where written on a note in lecture, shuffed through the rows of students and given to me, somewhat discreet.
Hey, why are you a member of so many autism communities on FB?I froze. I completely froze.
How on earth am I gonna wriggle myself out of this one?!A hast phone call to my partner during recess gave me some support.
Tell her if you want to. I think you should, but this is your decision.I didn't tell her. I hurried a note back saying it was "kinda complicated" and that I could tell her later - a few of the girls were going over to her place that night. It didn't come up. Not in itself and I didn't find a suitable time to tell her. I came home and my thoughts of myself was that I was a coward.
The disclosure finally came, in writing, the next day. I wrote a message over FaceBook, and she replied within the hour. It felt nice. Liberating. And once again I'm finding myself in a situation where maybe it would be appropriate to tell. I'm just trying to muster the nerve to do so.
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