Parents vs. kids, or, parents vs. adult autistics

Again, I'm sorry for not updating as often as I, perhaps, once did - Life has gotten in the way.

I'm about to wander into a topic I'm not too keen on blogging about - because it can be hurtful. I'll keep it brief, and to the point. This post is not so much a discussion as it is for information.

I once read a brilliant line; what happens to the autistic kid when he turns 18? Is he magically cured, or... does he die? You see, autistic adults exist, and there will "be" more of us in a very short time due to the increase in diagnosises made, which again is due to a better understanding about autism. This means that the society will have to "get used to" us in a different way than what has been the norm up until now. Of course, there has always been autistic adults (and I'm not just thinking about those categorized as 'low-functioning), but now we're getting more and more visible (think something along the lines of the "we're here, we're queer, get used to it"-mentality).

This brings up an interesting discussions, and possibly, problems. Parents of autistic kids are more than aware that their kids are growing up - but, what happens once they're adults? Will they be able to care for themselves? Get a job, get married, and have a family of their own? I believe many will - many already does.

I'm as lucky that I've gotten in touch with several parents over the last couple of months. Firstly, parents at www.autismesiden.no's message board. Later, at Asperger Rogaland. The latter is a 'real-life' group of parents of kids from the age of 9-17 (I think). I've only met them twice, but it's been nice meetings both time, with interesting discussion and a whole lot of epiphanies (at least for me). It seems that I'm not the only one learning and discovering things about myself and autism, but that I can help them, as well.

At the last meeting, Ivar came along as well, and he brought his mother. I hope they both will be regulars from now on.

Talking about that - Ivar and I are hoping to now form a regular group of youth and adults around here. We have out first gathering next Friday. If you're reading this, and is from the area around Stavanger, please check out MeetUp and our Google Group.

Thoughts

Still over two weeks without any "real" posts. I apologize.

Since then I've had a few "revelations" and have decided to document them in a word-document, if I am ever to get a "proper" assessment (in addition to my own self-understanding and the "confirmation" I had back in February, by a professional). The only problem so far is that I tend to remember things right before I fall asleep. That is my main time for pondering. Most of the time I have trouble sleeping, although not due to worrying. So, I ponder. And I always think to myself that I will remember and write it down on the Mac in the morning. I never do. I guess this is why it's recommended to keep a notebook with you - so that you can jot it down right there and then.

Has anyone else done this sort of thing? Has it been useful during the assessment process?

Problem with comments

There seems to be a problem with comments. I have moderation turned on, and usually all comments are e-mailed to me so that I can approve them.

However, this hasn't happened lately. If I don't approve your comment, it's not because I don't want it visible. It's because I haven't been notified of them. Please try to leave the comment again, or email me at johnsen.sara@gmail.com.

Intelligence - what ever that is.

Wow! Almost two weeks without a single post! Even though this blog is for myself and my own "exploration" of being Asperger, I hope someone's missed me and/or my posts.

Either way... Lately I've seen the subject of intelligence pop up on different message boards dealing with Asperger's. Now, I know scientists like Atwood says that Aspergers have "no delay in cognitive development" and "normal to above normal" intelligence (if I remember correctly, an IQ of 70 or less would indicate that you are "mentally challenged" or whatever the political correct word today is).

However, what I've noticed is that whenever this comes up in debates, be it on how you scored on tests during assessment or other times your IQ was measured, the Aspies reveal themselves to be one of the "above normal".

I'm not trying to say that they're lying, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only "dumb" Aspie out there. I've never had an intelligence test, but I doubt I'd score all that high. While we're being truthful here, I'm scared of having one because I dread the potential outcome. To be completely honest, I feel dumb. Thick. Stupid. And such words. I've never been good at math or exhibited other stereotypical intelligent-Aspie traits. I'm not gifted in any way. And the things I'm "good" at, well, I'm not really good at them. Not like other Aspies describe themselves to be.

I'm not going anywhere with this, I just have to get this out.

A whole new way

Lately I've been so social I find myself more and more exhausted. It's resulting in problems with the phone. I struggle to answer the phone on the best of days; I can talk on the phone with my husband (who's currently in another country) and some acquaintances (however, I don't like it).

It's turning into a problem because I have had several calls towards the end of the week from people at the student paper I work at. I know they're calling to ask me to step in last minute for some photography, but I've been unable to face not only the call, but them as well; if I had picked up I'd have to make up an excuse for not taking the job.

The question now is how to fix it? I have let it be known that I'm not too keen on phones right from the start, but I don't expect people to remember that. If I'm contacted over e-mail or text message, it's no problem, but... I'm not. I'm debating whether or not to tell about my social anxiety and/or Asperger's. I could say that I don't do phones but people always want a reason why.

Random thought

Autistics are said to be more aware of details than NTs, right? As a photographer I've been told that what often makes my photos good are that they have a good focus on... you got it; details.

Thoughts?

Another comparisson

Currently in Feminist Theory-lecture, which I've mentioned previously.

"It is said that Muslim Women are suppressed. Yet, no one asks them how they feel. It's a given that they are. However, some Norwegian Women have spoken freely and loudly that they are indeed not suppressed."

"They cannot represent themselves, they must be represented" (Marx, 1853)

I guess you're all see where I'm going here...

We need to step up our game.